This Love I Once Knew.

When I say I love you I mean it .I can’t help these feelings that I have for you. I can’t run from them there always there. I dream of you when I sleep next to you as if you’re not even there.
How do I move forward knowing that you are not going to be there?
 My mind is telling me leave while my heart is saying stay. My heart wants you deeply like night is today.
 You are my rainbow after a rainy day that the light that shines in and wakes me each and every day. My love is everlasting smooth but strong; everlasting pen to paper as these pages get old.
What does love want from me? He wants me to stay humble as I get old. Humble to the tone, humble to those precious words when I say that I love you.
My love is as deep as I believe it can go. If you were ink I would smear you all over my body therefore you know I wouldn’t touch nobody.
How deep is my love? Deep enough to kill, deep enough to steal, deep enough to run and deep enough to cum. I am a fat kid in the candy store and you are my reese’s, I couldn’t eat you because my heart could not dare to see you to pieces.
How deep is my love? Deep enough that when I am with you it is a possibility that I may sin.When I am with you i feel like a kid again; all smiles and grins. 
When I am with you I never want it to end, every moment of every second I am thinking of want I must do to make this happen again.
You are my sunset; big but beautiful abstraction of wonderful colors over the Pacific Ocean that I want to see again.
My stars at night that lie next to my moon, my rib that I would give if your heart jumped a tune. How deep is my love, deep enough to run, you are my clyde and I am your bonnie so you will always know that I will come.
My love for you is so real I taste it when I talk constantly running through my mind like it is track and field but to win the fact that you will always have my heart.

At one point in time it was surreal, you know who you are.

A miracle to mommey, a mistake to daddy

I think about my life and how crazy it would be if i let my little love be. HE or she would be the greatest that i could never be . Where do i go and whom do i turn to ?

I think about little love each and everyday, little love will change me for the rest of my days. Were would I be if my mother disposed of me? Def. not here expressing my words of how I love little love that I never seen but i will adore when time sets for me to see.

I think about the decisions that surround me let little love be, or dispose of little love with the thought that it would go away. Whatever I decide little love will always be a part of me, a seed that I can't just give away.

The plan was never meant to be this way but as we learn our plans never go as we please. I never wanted my seed to go through what I endured the thought of never seeing his/her father that shaped my little love to be. As we take on responsibility we have a chose to be responsible or be the dead-beat we will remain to be.

I am sorry my little love will have to be just another child father whose does not what to be. It was not my fault, it was not nothing I did why little love father choose to be or did what he did. He choose to be who he will remain to be. I just want my little love to understand he left you and me; alone in the world, no help,no calls, not even to ask if my little love is here growing strong.

Instead little love father wanted me to dispose of little me. Someone we created, oh so beautiful yet neither of us has ever seen. Yet the thought of disposing little love like he is not a person or a things.

Little love mommey loves you deeply, growing strong inside of me. I want you to be the greatest the world allows you to be. I expect you to take the world from its feet, twist and turn it to your agenda of who you want to be . I will always protect you, you will always be apart of me, growing to become the person God wants you to be.

New Found Love!

  The idea is beautiful, I find myself becoming in tuned with my inner self . Attaching myself with my emotions and inner feeling, while most would say it is weird or kind of spooky i find it to be very interesting. It is amazing how you can expressing your words through pencil and paper whether it is rapping,singing or just writing lyrics for someone else. Yes, I am talking about poetry,open mic, spoken word its the message and idea behind the words that attracts me to poetry. While the message is being purposed, there is a deeper message being spoken . I find my poetry to be very  stress relieving, easy my mind when i feel the harsh times of this world get to me.It is my way of fighting back, not with my fist but with my writting, I am more of a Muhammad Ghandi type of person or at least I am trying to be  but lately i find myself with a pen and my pad.