"if you fall for nothing, you will stand for nothing"

They say what does not kill you makes you stronger. After each rain storm there will be a sunshine, it could rain for weeks but that does not stop the rainbow from shining, it does not sun the sun from still coming out, it comes out to let us know that this is a temporary condition. It comes out to prove to us that there is no obstacle bigger than the you and I . Only true obstacles are the obstacles that you put the price to, it really only as big as you make it . If i based my life around my temporary condition I will never be any where in life, still stuck in the same mind frame of the word "i cant". While coming up with every excuse syking myself out speaking downfall on my future goals. There is  nothing that I cant do, I am the driving of my own car I make sure I am where I need to be when I need to be . Speaking negatively into my positively is only going to make me think negatively, I am creating my own negatively, by speaking it into existence .

Are you lacking self worth? Self worth is differs from self esteem. Self esteem deals with your feeling how you feel about your self, self worth is the value you put on yourself.  Self esteem is the overall evaluation of yourself as a whole it deals with pain,despair, pride and shame. It is something that you are born with, it cant be token but you can lose sight of it. Often times we measure our self worth based off the material aspects that we posses rather than what lies beneath. If I measure my self worth off material objects than I must not posses very much. Meaning I must not want very much, putting my thoughts, my morals and my goals into something that means less to me than the dirt I walk on. My worth is not amounted by the clothes I wear, nor is it amounted by the car i drive but it is amounted by the potential that I uptain. If I look outside of ones self, and try to define who I am outside of the self by classifying myself with people, places, power or prestige (things in which amount to happiness), I will never find true fulfillment. Were taught that the definition of our self worth is defined by outside illusions. Measuring myself to someone other than myself accomplishments will get me no where I will always be looking for something or someone to fill the hole, pleasing everyone but myself.  True self worth does not come from temporally conditions, it comes from the conditions of your natural state, nothing or no one outside of you can tell you what your TRUTH is only you can. 

 If i define my own self worth than why would i settle for less  than what I know i deserve. A birdy told me if you "fall for anything you will stand for nothing."  You define what worth to standing for, if it feels like bullshit than TRUST me it probably is . If i continuously allow you to cheat on me, but at the end of the day I take you back, that person is never going to learn that you want them to stop, your making it okay for them to cheat. All it takes is that one time and that one time should be enough, after the one time your just settling for anything because now they know they can get away with anything . But if you know you deserve more why not want more ?

The Ideal of a Real Man vs chararterics Male Dog?

If you had to describe your ideal man what picture would you display? Of course many woman, would give you a break down of there dream man but when we break down the functions that you are describe, are you describing a Man or a Male Dog.

What is a REAL MAN??

At birth, a boy is born as a male with male characterics and male features. As this boy grows and matures he becomes a man. It is a process, not something that can just happen over night this takes time,like a young lady to a women. This is not something that can be rushed nor can someone give it to you as a gift, it is to be learned. There is basic knowledge that you must  grasp in order to consider yourself to be a man.  

 A man is responsible for his words and actions, he is reliable, dependable,and  inspiring. A real man makes decisions and lives with thoses decisions that he has created for himself. In order to make a decision you must know the basics of that decision the foundation as to where that decision comes from. Real man have solid foundations, which has shaped this male into a man. A real man is strong, he does not cry, he does not complain or bitch, he rolls with the punchs as they come. He is the backbone of the family and does not have time to be weak. A real man is focused, he does not have time to deal with pettie things that he can not benefit from, his focus is on money, family and power. He doesnt focus on sex because sex comes from the power. A man understand's the meaning of family. A man is clean  and very well kept but does not look like a woman.He wears a suit at least 3 times a week. A real man does not gossip. He makes promises that he can keep . His words is bond, he would rather die than break his word. He sets the example for himself and his family, very respectable even if he has been disrespected. A man never shows his children his weakness, what is done at work stays at work. A man works for everything he has, he does not  believe in handouts, no charity work, he who interancte fathers money mulitiples it times 10.  A man is not lazy and keeps his house in order. But most of all a real man can defend himself.

Real Man	Male Dog
does not carry a grudge	looks for ways to get even
looks to better himself; he will invest in his success	complains that he has to stay where he is
gives to his community	takes from his community
is measured by character	is measured by his sex drive
is a protector of women in general and committed to one woman in particular	views a woman as an object of pleasure, and isnt committed to anything
his word is his bond	has no words, tells you what you want to hear
a real man is a leader	is a follower
thinks with his big head	thinks with his little head
uses his intellect and emotions to make decisions	makes emotional decisions

 Man vs. Male Dog
Thinking about the difference between a real man and a male dog.  The difference is, a male dog is to be taught, you must trained a male dog to be a good dog while a man, if a man is a man then there is no need to train that man  how to be a man.  He will have been trained to become a man as a boy.  Like raising kids, why do I need to train a man to be a man. I am not that man's, mother or father.  Funny, some grown men do not even know the definition of who they are  and what they must become, so stuck trying to be something there not clouding there reality of a live that they dare to dream instead of living there dreams, playing that dream as there reality while stealing living in your mothers house . But you consider yourself to be a man? In my eyes your just a mommas boy, depending on your mother to take care you.  At what age does a boy become a man? 

Answering my own question there is no age. Age doesn't define maturity, it does not define growth, age is just simply a number that amounts how long you have been living on this earth. It does not mean you have a higher authority, yeah you may have been around longer than me, yeah you may have seen things that I have yet to see but from what I see you have not gained anything from the things you have seen. Since being we learn from experiences, meaning if you have not experiences then how can you learn. So what makes you superior ? Or is it the fact that society looks up to and applauds you for things in which they should not. How is it that a male can have multiple girlfriends, multiple friends and be praised for his actions while if a women is to do the same she is considered a slut, a female dog, a hoe and frowned upon. What does this sound like a  male dog. A male dog has multiple sexual partners unless that dog lives with its mate, and still once you let that dog out he can smell another dog in heat and will travel the distance to find that. A male dog is selfish, he will take little from me, little from you little from your neighboor and keep all to himself, taking until there is not anymore.

Food For Thought

 Let it be told,  a male told me that all men are dogs you just have to know what kind of dog you have. I thought alot about what he said, men are not dogs, males are dogs.  A man will never degrade himself to be anything less than a man. He is already degraded enough in soicety why belittle yourself  by refering yourself to a 4 legged creature.

This Love I Once Knew.

When I say I love you I mean it .I can’t help these feelings that I have for you. I can’t run from them there always there. I dream of you when I sleep next to you as if you’re not even there.
How do I move forward knowing that you are not going to be there?
 My mind is telling me leave while my heart is saying stay. My heart wants you deeply like night is today.
 You are my rainbow after a rainy day that the light that shines in and wakes me each and every day. My love is everlasting smooth but strong; everlasting pen to paper as these pages get old.
What does love want from me? He wants me to stay humble as I get old. Humble to the tone, humble to those precious words when I say that I love you.
My love is as deep as I believe it can go. If you were ink I would smear you all over my body therefore you know I wouldn’t touch nobody.
How deep is my love? Deep enough to kill, deep enough to steal, deep enough to run and deep enough to cum. I am a fat kid in the candy store and you are my reese’s, I couldn’t eat you because my heart could not dare to see you to pieces.
How deep is my love? Deep enough that when I am with you it is a possibility that I may sin.When I am with you i feel like a kid again; all smiles and grins. 
When I am with you I never want it to end, every moment of every second I am thinking of want I must do to make this happen again.
You are my sunset; big but beautiful abstraction of wonderful colors over the Pacific Ocean that I want to see again.
My stars at night that lie next to my moon, my rib that I would give if your heart jumped a tune. How deep is my love, deep enough to run, you are my clyde and I am your bonnie so you will always know that I will come.
My love for you is so real I taste it when I talk constantly running through my mind like it is track and field but to win the fact that you will always have my heart.

At one point in time it was surreal, you know who you are.

A miracle to mommey, a mistake to daddy

I think about my life and how crazy it would be if i let my little love be. HE or she would be the greatest that i could never be . Where do i go and whom do i turn to ?

I think about little love each and everyday, little love will change me for the rest of my days. Were would I be if my mother disposed of me? Def. not here expressing my words of how I love little love that I never seen but i will adore when time sets for me to see.

I think about the decisions that surround me let little love be, or dispose of little love with the thought that it would go away. Whatever I decide little love will always be a part of me, a seed that I can't just give away.

The plan was never meant to be this way but as we learn our plans never go as we please. I never wanted my seed to go through what I endured the thought of never seeing his/her father that shaped my little love to be. As we take on responsibility we have a chose to be responsible or be the dead-beat we will remain to be.

I am sorry my little love will have to be just another child father whose does not what to be. It was not my fault, it was not nothing I did why little love father choose to be or did what he did. He choose to be who he will remain to be. I just want my little love to understand he left you and me; alone in the world, no help,no calls, not even to ask if my little love is here growing strong.

Instead little love father wanted me to dispose of little me. Someone we created, oh so beautiful yet neither of us has ever seen. Yet the thought of disposing little love like he is not a person or a things.

Little love mommey loves you deeply, growing strong inside of me. I want you to be the greatest the world allows you to be. I expect you to take the world from its feet, twist and turn it to your agenda of who you want to be . I will always protect you, you will always be apart of me, growing to become the person God wants you to be.

New Found Love!

  The idea is beautiful, I find myself becoming in tuned with my inner self . Attaching myself with my emotions and inner feeling, while most would say it is weird or kind of spooky i find it to be very interesting. It is amazing how you can expressing your words through pencil and paper whether it is rapping,singing or just writing lyrics for someone else. Yes, I am talking about poetry,open mic, spoken word its the message and idea behind the words that attracts me to poetry. While the message is being purposed, there is a deeper message being spoken . I find my poetry to be very  stress relieving, easy my mind when i feel the harsh times of this world get to me.It is my way of fighting back, not with my fist but with my writting, I am more of a Muhammad Ghandi type of person or at least I am trying to be  but lately i find myself with a pen and my pad.